Relationships- Defined

I have been thinking through this word " Relationship". However, I was not able to articulate my thoughts on this fantastic, complicated yet simple phenomenon. So, today lemme give it a try. By Relationship, I mean any relationship- whose instances will have the name Mother-son, father-son, brother-brother, Lover gal-boy, married etc etc etc.... So i would like to think aloud on that generic term relationship, define it, classify different forms. I may not be successful, as I am thinking as I am writing this. Also, as applicable to all my blogs, I DO NOT have deep-rooted opinions.... and all these writings are open to discussions.

Ideal Relationship: An Ideal relationship to me is utopian. Rather, I can say atleast between two individuals is difficult to achieve. To me an ideal relationship is the one in which each individual is as comfortable as he is with him/herself. He is as natural as when he/she is alone. The only one instance of this kind of relationship I see is Relationship with SELF. 100% truthful, honest, deep and natural. If an individual is not in such a relationship with self, then he/she is not living his/her life, but living others' life.... there are people (rather many) who do that.

Conditional relationship: If you do this then I like you, If you dont do this I dont like you. If you love me you SHOULD/ MUST like or do this.... these are typical Ifs used by people who "feel" that they are into a relationship. Rather, they are self-obsessed and they can't build a relationship with other "individuals" but just enforce their ideas. Generally, these relationships are found between insecure adults and children..., insecure spouses etc. Some of the typical syndromes in this are expecting Wishes on birthdays, valentine's day, father;s day, mother's day, friendship day, independence day, "Sun" day, "mon" day .......dry day etc :) :)

Dog/Servant- Master Relationship: This is the extreme case of the above-mentioned relationship, where in, its only about one individual and the other is just dummy or actually image of the other , atleast that is how the dominant in the pair perceives. This generally can be observed in extreme case of parenting, student-teacher relationship

Information driven relationships: I love this name...heheh.. definitely it has nothing to do with IT... but definitely to do with information. In these relationships the amount of love/care is directly proportional to the information (esp personal/classified) information you share. for ex: if you share ATM PINs you are the closest heheh.. its like saying "we have no secrets". If you forgot to inform a person, then it is like I CARE A DAMN for u...(hhehehe).

Relationship -my definition: For me, a relationship is a successful one or for that matter I can say a relationship exists only when the two persons involved in the relationship retain their SELF and not loose it. The two, should be individuals. I am inspired by kahlil Gibran ( in prophet), he says that in marriage the couple should be like Pillars of a temple. not too close nor too far , that is when the structure above is safe. ( I have rephrased what he said). I think its applicable to every instance of a relationship. Relatioship exists when you like the individual for what he/she is and not for what you want him/ her to be.

So ppl, check out where your different relationships fall.........

Do not do to others what you dont want others to do to you

(This was told and preached by one of my esteemed Professors, Prof. R. C Sekhar, he is one of those rare professors who educated us in class and not lectured.)

That small sentence that he used to repeat in Managerial ethics class triggerred a thought in me (and that is what a classroom discussion ideally should do). I have been subconsciously mulling over this seed of thought. Suddenly, one fine day (all changes in nature are faster they happen in a moment) I realise that this is the maxim and this is the basic tenet of Life, of any religion, of any faith. This is the whole beautiful way of life, condensed in one single sentence. This is what every religious/spiritual/philosophical text may teach us.

It says the following whole set of things (everything may seem repetitive and the same but their contexts are different)

• Respect others' freedom and rights
• Whatever u do in ur own way without infringing others' rights is always GOOD
• U should be concerned only when others' deeds are entering your or fellow beings' space. Till then, what one does is his prerogative
• THINK before u ACT
• You have every right ONLY on your life and not on others, be it ur own kith n kin

This one sentence gave me deep thoughts... and hope some new thoughts and deeper meanings may come to my mind.... till then... that is it... THINK!

What do i want from my life?

I dunno what? but i have been thinking about this.. always.. in every state.... but i am not able to realise the real thing ... but one thing is sure.. that we need to make somehting out of our lives,,, for god has created us with all the abliilites to do something.. as of now i realised that i have a purpose..everyone has one.. and the whole life is to find what it is .. if not this one another one. so think ..think why u r here... think why u wanna live? wat u r dreams are ?? do they make sense ?? are they really worth it?? are they really worth worrying??? think about it.. and LIVE!!!!!!! live UR life.. not for others!!! this post will continue..till i think...

Here cometh the nu year

i dunno what to write.. but i wanted to write something on this momentus occasion of another new number in my life (rather in every one's life). My last new year was in Pune with my close frnds..here i am this new year eve all to myself blogging and watching movies in the US. Life;s like that and that is what i expect the next new year eve to be. it s always thrilling to have something unexpected, be it bad or good ( we cant define them, i remember betrand rusell explaining the difference between good and bad in one of his famous essays for about 100 pages hehehe) . But one lesson what everynew year eve gives is....... an alarm, another warning bell... saying that u r nearing death (hey dont get worried this is more philosophical than being a psycho).. saying that "hey buddy! watch out u have less time to reach ur "target"" in typical project management terms-another milestone... so, watch out ppl, you guys have lesser time to reach ur "targets"... hmmm whatever it means to u.. but remember onething... set ur preferences and priorities..for life is all about them and not about others.

New year resolutions:
I will be the judge of my deeds
I will be to my"self"
I will never stereotype ppl- its ridiculous( i havent been doing that anyway)
I will live like a human
I will respect others' self esteem and uphold mine
I will have the guts to accept that i made a mistake ( i have been doing this)
I will freak out hehehehe

that is it ..rest all are secrets.

ppl. so have a happy nu year...party ur life.. be urself.... and most importantly set ur priorities right,..live UR life not others'